Minding my own business, watching favourite TV show
When I was rudely interrupted, I should tell them where to go
Cos they tell me what to do, what to buy, where to spend
But without good reasons why and it drives me round the bend

Now doesn’t he look great in those clothes, that hairstyle?
Yeah, but he’s a supermodel I am not but then I’ll
Still head straight down to the shop to purchase like a fool
Cos I’m naïve, I believe that I could really look that cool

Chorus
I can’t describe how much I despise
These stupid commercials before my eyes
They sell me an impossible life
Tell me nothing about the products they advertise

So David Beckham drinks the same fizzy pop as Britney
But my deodorant never made girls come chasing after me
Now they don't even play any music on MTV
Just a 24-hour advert endorsed by celebrity

Chorus

Tell me why (WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!)
I should buy - because you’re worth it!
Listen Mr global corporate fast-food restaurant scum
I bought one of your McBurgers - guess what?
I’m not lovin’ it!

Half-past ten Thursday evening
I saw you look at me, you saw me looking back
We both know there's mutual tension
Subtle desire and apprehension

Three, four, five, six drinks later
Innocent thoughts are thwarted by your presence
Exchange implications across the dance floor
I’ve drunk too much so count me in for one more

Chorus
I can see you staring at me
I stare back indefinitely
Tell me should I?
Or is it just a game?

I contemplate the possibility
That you would want to come home with me
We both know there's mutual tension
Subtle desire and apprehension

More alcohol for self-assurance
But I’m held back by a fear of rejection
Suspicious of your intention
Genuine interest or seeking attention?

Chorus

Two a.m. Friday morning
The lights come on, it's closing time, you wander off
But I know that I had a chance
To ask you for the last dance

Chorus
I can see you staring at me
I stare back indefinitely
Look over at me

One more time!

I’ve been working nine-to-five
Don’t know what I should derive
From the clowns that we call customers
And their trivial lives

They come in to hassle me
They’re complaining constantly
Cos we’re running low on bread
Or decaffeinated coffee

Purchasing what they need
Seems to be secondary
To their concern with finding products
That have gone up 1p

It’s as if the world has ended
Due to what’s not in our shop
Cos their favourite brand of water’s
Temporarily out of stock

I don’t understand
What they expect me to do about it
They deserve a slap
Is it really gonna hurt to get it out the tap?

Chorus
So petty
Don’t take it out on me
For all I care
You can take your stinking money elsewhere

Okay, so some of them are wise
But many do not realise
That this company we represent
We truly do despise

On our wage we can’t refuse
Overtime we didn’t choose
Whilst the managers sit upstairs
We’re confronted with abuse

I don’t understand
What they expect me to do about it
I have to be polite
Even though the customer is never right

Chorus
So petty
Don’t take it out on me
For all I care
You can go without
No 12s
Just buy a smaller pack
For all I care
You can take your stinking money elsewhere

Who the hell do you think you are?
Speaking to me that way
Safe in your comfortable little lives
You should be grateful you have food on your plates everyday

So self-indulgent, so Daily Mail
It makes me so angry
This was a song about a supermarket
And now it’s turning ‘to rant about world poverty

8 Harp (E. Bampfylde/ H. Watkinson)

We were crazy punk kids in Hawaiian shirts
Growing up in the suburbs
We used to park our cars outside Nino's
That little smoky cafe where all we'd go
I've got a free house, d'you wanna come round?
We'll have some fun and maybe act real dumb!
I miss those days, I wanna go back
But instead I'm just singing this track

Hey yo! Hey yo!
D'you remember back inna the day
When Dino played the drums
And The Beast played the bass?
And we used to up to London on the 9 past 5 train
To skank along to bands like the DHC!
We were The Moonshine Runners, The Cerebellum 5!
The Irate Pirate and the Man Trying to Fly!
Known to all them rude girls as them the Happy Ska Bwoy!
When Jointhog in the place
The people jump and shout fi joy, hey!

Charing Cross Maccy D's
8 Harp and we
Head to Trafalger Square to start the party!
The Garage! The Underworld! The LA2!
We were there in '97 baby, where were you?!
You were sitting at home watching your TV
While we were participating in some anarchy!
We used to spend our money on T-shirts & beer
'Cos the Evil Average Cru don't get pissed in 'No Fear'!

At Godalming College we were in love from afar
With a funky fly girl, her name was Orla
From the very first moment yeah you know she into ska
She had the cool haircut and da baggy trousah!
Henry makin whoopie with a Shootin' Goon groupie
Down a Camden alley, it drove us all loopy
We missed the last train and we had to call his dad
But it made no difference, oh the times we had!

Sorry, not coming out to play
Just want to be on my own today
There’s nothing you can really say
Just let me be I’ll be okay

I promise to come out next time

No crime that I want to be
On my own, solitary
Don’t take it as rejection
That I prefer my own company

Maybe I’ll come out next time

Chorus
Feeling tired and worn down
I feel like shit ‘cos you ordered that last round
And anyway
I still don’t know how made it home from town

I feel sledgehammers in my head
I appeal for the right to stay in bed
I won’t reply to my silent phone
Don’t want to talk, just be on my own

I’ll speak to you another time

Chorus

Sorry, not coming out to play
Just want to be on my own today
What do you expect me to do
Ask for permission from you?

I’ll make up my own... mind

Chorus

Local to national
It’s time to campaign
Protest for action
In and out of your domain

Please tell me what to wear
You seem to know the right way
How should I have my hair?
Who the hell am I to say?

Thanks for pointing out his shoes
Yes, they’re different, that’s the idea
Your obsessive vanity
Feeds off conformity

If I don’t keep my distance
I’ll say something I regret

Chorus
All you care about is who makes the grade
Now my favourite night’s become a fashion parade
On the verge of launching a mean tirade
Cos you turned the night… into a fashion parade

You say his cap is sad
Who appointed you judge and jury?
In my humble opinion
There are more important things, surely

Chorus

I assume you don’t expect
To be judged by the standards you set for everybody else
Step out on the catwalk
Let’s hear the verdict on you for a change

Yo wots up!
People wanna come talk to me
Yo wots up!
They wanna know what's up with Eddio Bee
Yo wots up!
But I've got such a crap memory
Yo wots up!
I don't remember your name bruv!

Chorus
I know my people by their faces and who they are
And if I had one you could come ride in my car
If you want me I'll be dancing to the ska
All night long! All night long!

People are always like!
Yo, you remember my mate Steve
Yo wots up!
Do you remember my friend Francine?
Yo wots up!
Yo Ed, you've got a crap memory!
Yo wots up!
I don't know who they are bruv!

Chorus

He said “Do ya wanna fight, I’ll take you both, let’s go outside”
I said “No dude, I don’t wanna fight, wanna fight you”
Waving his fists around in the air, he said “c’mon let’s fight, lets fight right here”
I said “No dude, I don’t wanna fight, wanna fight you”

Bridge
But he can’t hear what we’re saying
Man he doesn’t want to know
Yeah he’s spoiling for rumble (tonight I say)
Man, I wish that I knew taekwon-do!

Chorus
I don’t know what he’s thinking
I think this guy’s been drinking
I can see his eyes squinting
He wants to punch me

We don’t, we don’t wanna spar
We just wanna dance to ska!
But this kid (this kid) this kid (this kid) is buggin’ out!
Waving his fists around in the air, he said “c’mon let’s fight, lets fight right here”
I said “No dude, I don’t wanna fight, wanna fight you”

Bridge

Chorus

A-put a-put a-put up your dukes!
I said a-put a-put a-put up your dukes!
So we square up and we stare this dude right back in his face
Trust us to get started on by the biggest dude in the whole damn place
Just seeing this dude reminds us that human beings were descended from apes
But then he turns around and drunkenly he walks away

Bridge

Chorus

Ska’s not dead, it lives on in my head
From the time I wake up till the time I go to bed
I’m not a moody guy, I’m a really happy Joe
My favourite word aint goodbye, I like to say hello…

Now this aint downtown JA
Yeah this e dabba dis is a the Skaville UK
And it’s “Forward March!” like Derrick Morgan say
If you say ‘Let’s Dance!’, I’ll say okay…

Chorus
Well I wake up in the morning cos I gotta go to work
So I can pay to stay up late instead
Well It aint just me yeah there’s people in my scene
And we’ll all say ska’s not dead
Yeah it aint just me yeah there’s people in our scene
And we’ll all tell you ska’s not dead!

When the horns go…
I get excited!
When Buster goes…pidup!
We’re united!
Hey rude girl I wanna dance wid you
To the sounds of Jamaica circa ’62
With you, with you with you with you
Dance with me rude girl hey!

Lying in the gutter, looking up at the stars
Wondering what might have been
And if you, ever knew, how I loved you
And if you ever loved me
But oh no-body cares
About a drunkard in the street
But oh no-body cares about me
As I sing myself to sleep! Oi!

In the gutter (IN THE GUTTER!)
Is where we set our scene
To tell the story of a boy and his hopes and dreams
He once loved a girl with his heart and soul
He’d have loved her (HE’D HAVE LOVED HER!)
Til the day they grew old

CHORUS
Singing Whoa Whoa Woe is me
got any spare change I could use a cup of tea
Singing Whoa whoa woe is me!
Give us a cup of tea!

As he lay half pissed oh boy how he wished
He’d have told her how he felt (HOW HE FELT!)
And in the lonely gloom of his empty room
His thoughts, on her, they dwelt

CHORUS

I’m always texting them an invite (invite!)
But they’re staying in for a quiet night (sssshhhh!!!)
Sounds great! Alone I’ll celebrate (yeah!)
Besides, who needs a social appetite?

Now don’t be bitter ‘bout being single (single)
What’s life if we can’t intermingle?
Tied down to one, okay, it might be fun
But ditching friends, that’s abysmal!

CHORUS
You’re always staying in with your girlfriends/boyfriends
I have to admit that I won’t be sad if it ends
And I know that might sound harsh
But at least then we could go out… and get drunk

All I asked is that we’d arrange (arrange)
A night out, but now you’re estranged
It’s too intense, I’ve used up all my zeds (i.e. you’re boring!)
Describing how much you have changed

CHORUS
You’re always staying in with your girlfriends/boyfriends
I have to admit that I won’t be sad if it ends
And I know that might sound harsh
But at least then we could go out… and talk about girls

I don’t know but I’ve been told
Your choices are now controlled
Can’t you see what you’ve become?
Stuck under your lover’s thumb!

We used to have so much fun
Then you met your loved one

CHORUS

Girlfriends and boyfriends and girlfriends and boyfriends and
Girlfriends and boyfriends and girlfriends and boredom

Am I really asking so much?
Or maybe should I compromise?

CHORUS
The choice is crystal clear to me
Black and white, it’s binary
Sell-out all my principles, lower expectations
Just a little give and take
But I stick to the difficult way
And do what I think’s right!

You gotta learn that the bridges that I cross aren’t to burn
And don’t be thinkin’ I’ll be sinkin’ when I’m forced to turn
You fail to understand why I must stick to my guns
Cos you blindfold your eyes from the truth and think that you’ve won
Benevolence is a concept that is foreign to you
You only think about you, how something benefits you
And that’s what troubles me
Your selfishness, your greed, your lack of concern

So little effort is required
But do you even give a damn?

CHORUS

Am I really asking so much?
Or maybe should I compromise?

CHORUS

Every day it’s the same on the train
When I’m on my way home
Everybody’s on their phone
Ringtones on their phones and their irritating drones
Drive me mad
Tolerance has left me today

Why do I feel so bad?
Who is this monster inside?
When will this hate subside?

All these people in expensive cars and their big label clothes
Thinking money makes a hero
Thinking I’ll be impressed and jealous with the way that they dress
And splash about their dinero

CHORUS
I don’t understand, I need no invitation
To get myself worked up over petty irritations
I don’t understand, I need no invitation
This stupid, self-inflicted, petty aggravation
But it doesn’t matter, it really doesn’t matter
These things that people do that don’t even affect me
No, it shouldn’t matter, it really shouldn’t matter
These things that people do that don’t even affect me at all

I sit by myself and I shout at the TV that sits in front of me
But why? It’s not like it’ll take on board my comments and change

CHORUS

So I look in the mirror
And I attempt a convincing smile
And on reflection are things so bad?

Ssshh, stop the whinging
You’re bringing yourself down
You’re bringing everybody down
Make no mistake
If you keep on complaining there’ll be no-one around

CHORUS